Especially in this season where so many of us experience so much joy there are countless numbers who experience emptiness, loneliness, and depression. It is also the time when the idea of divorce runs rampant. Why? It’s because somewhere along the line we as a culture and society have forgotten that Love is NOT a feeling BUT a Decision. The loving feelings always follow the decision!
This is the way the relationship goes. You decide to look at that attractive body and suddenly you feel a tingling. You decide to approach and get a yes and the feelings cascade into giddiness and joy. As long as you decide to pursue, new, different and magical feelings seem to happen every day. Then things are getting too serious and you start to feel smothered or trapped, so you decide to “cool off” and not see each other for a while, to date other people (all decisions). What you feel then, will either drive you back to each other or be a final farewell. Those who do DECIDE to get back together are usually the ones who end up marrying. They have decided that they can’t live without one another. Unfortunately, once married they often stop marrying. They slide into routines, they get into ruts, they take each other for granted (all decisions), and suddenly they feel empty, alone, depressed and think they have fallen out of love. But what they really did is NOT make all the little decisions to put each other first like they did when they were pursuing. You have to decide to write love notes, to pull yourself away from the TV and computer, to buy those flowers, to light candles and wear attractive night clothing, to treat each other with respect, to say no to outside influences and temptations. Decide first, feelings follow…