Feelings Not Spoken Out Are Acted Out

Check for yourself.  How do you act when a reckless driver cuts too closely in front of you?  What do you do when someone makes a joke about you in front of others?  What do you do when your spouse or loved one does not show up or is very late to meet you?

These typical situations generally cause intense feelings.  For instance, when the car cuts you off, you might get tingles on your hands; feel instant fear and panic which can often turn into anger or even rage.  When someone jokes about you, you might feel embarrassed, confused, even hurt if you take it a certain way.  When your loved one is late you might feel anxiety, fear, and insecurity thinking that something bad may have happened, or even dread at the thought of losing someone.  

All of these feelings are neither right nor wrong; good nor bad – they just are normal feelings.  Unfortunately, most of us stuff and stifle the feelings and simply act out what the feeling makes us feel like doing!  Like honking a horn, stepping on the gas to catch up and hand gesture the other driver.  Or get even by telling a joke or hurtful story about the other person.  When someone is late, some people pace and start practicing what they will say when the person shows up.  Others might get fearful and even cry at the thought of what might have happened.  

It’s only when we become aware of and notice and acknowledge our feelings that we can start to choose our behaviors instead of just reacting.  Saying our feelings out loud is the best way we know to master them.  Feeling spoken out DO NOT have to be acted out!

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