Communication for Intimacy in Marriage

We just had the honor and blessing of presenting a Living in Love Weekend on the island of Kauai. It was refreshing to hear once again one of our favorite inspirational concepts of the experience which captures one of the grandest differences in the way that males and females seek and attain intimacy in their couple relationship.

The masculine way is to achieve closeness through touch and non-verbal communication that he celebrates by talking. The feminine way is to achieve closeness is through conversation and verbal communication that she celebrates by making love.

Ed- My feelings are like a jumbled wad of rubber bands inside me. I can easily tell Betty what she should have done, give her my opinion on a subject, or figure out her problem. But when she asks how I am feeling, my heart seems to stand still while my brain has to start to look inside.  Sometimes I just can’t describe the feelings that come over me and often it is easier to just make love in order to express how I am feeling.  Then it seems so much easier to talk about anything and really listen as well.

Betty- I have to talk first! Sometimes it is sharing a treasured memory of our dating like the first night we sat in front of my parents’ home and talked ‘til 3 in the morning. Sometimes it is just catching up on events in our life when I don’t think I know the whole story of what happened. Sometimes it is clearing the air from a misunderstanding and sometimes it involves sharing a hurt that I need healed. SOMETIMES it is just one of these things and SOMETIMES it could be ALL of them!!! SOMETIMES it can happen throughout the day and SOMETIMES it’s right before we go to bed!!! Then, I am ready to communicate and celebrate  my love non-verbally.

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