What happens to me and our relationship when we don’t dialogue regularly? HDMAMMF?

What happens to me and our relationship when we don’t dialogue regularly? HDMAMMF?

On July 3rd, 2013, posted in: Communication, Forgiveness & Healing, Love by Comments Off on What happens to me and our relationship when we don’t dialogue regularly? HDMAMMF?

Betty:

My loving Eddie, Your Most Endearing Quality is prioritizing our relationship with this poignant question. Yes, it has been too long since our last dialogue and I notice that I just get irritated so easily when I haven’t been expressing my feelings to you. I don’t know how people do it without dialogue!! My irritation, too, isn’t really directed AT you, but, unfortunately, you are the major recipient of my irritable behavior. I have been noticing that my fuse is short! So I think our next dialogue question is – Has my irritable behavior gone away because we dialogued today?!!! Let’s see – a scientific experiment in human behavior. So, what happens to me – I put everything before US – I get so BUSY – email, grandkids, work, and the biggest robber of time – Facebook. (It’s a blessing and a curse!) This irritability slips into our relationship and I don’t have time for you or us. My answer makes me feel melancholy. It’s not an extreme feeling of sadness, just like a wake-up call to something that I truly believe in and technically want to do, but haven’t. Like Oh, yeah – I want to do that, but… It’s light gray in color and an overcast gray day like today. It’s like not taking the time to get a haircut and realizing that that means I’m not putting myself first or taking care of my appearance which in turn makes me not feel good about myself. But in this case it is transferred to us and not taking care of us – so not really feeling good about us. So happy to be here and doing this. Looking forward to listening to you.

I Love You, Ben

After listening to Eddie, it was reassuring and gave me a sense of secureness. Also, curiosity to see if dialoguing does really clear up this irritability that was springing up inside of me. Let’s see what happens today and yes, commit to dialoguing on the scientific experiment’s observation and result.. Interesting!

Ed:

My lover Benjie, YMEQ is your laughter and giggle.  I just simply feel a joy burst when you laugh at my silly antics.  I love us.  Sweetheart, when I think of us going through three weeks without dialoguing, I see how those grating feelings pile up. For me, it is like scratching on a chalkboard lingering just below the surface.  We are great one minute and then some little thing triggers and either or both of us erupt.  All I think about is that when we are dialoguing we feel like a “fine well oiled machine.”  When we are not dialoging there are sticky, squeaky parts and every once in a while the machine jams totally.  Please forgive me for erupting in the car yesterday when you were trying to help me with my call and what to say to my client.  But that is a perfect example of where I took your loving advice as criticism instead of hearing it as a great way to handle the call.  When we are dialoguing as we should, I don’t hear things as much as criticism.

Lover, I feel such a sense of relief and release just writing this.  It is like a knot in my stomach just untwined.  Deep breath, letting go, a sense of quiet and peace.  My chest is airy and although I still have a mild sense of anxiety in my gut, I feel free and light overall.  ILYWMWHASAMAB, Your lover Eddie

 

As Betty read her letter to me, I could almost feel her sense of disappointment.  It was like a gloom entered by heart.  I too disappoint myself by not keeping my commitments.  I just felt connected and ready to start over as we sat together looking out at the overcast sky.  As we finished I could feel the energy of renewal already start to build in my chest.  How do people survive without dialogue?

 

Comments are closed.