Video Transcript:
Hello, we’re back—so exciting to be back! Yeah, I think the last blog we did, or the newsletter, was on the same topic that we’re talking about today: selfishness and how that figures into the belonging lesson. We mainly focused on the couple relationship in that newsletter, but we realized that our book actually delves more into belonging with our children. It’s interesting that we went on that tangent for our newsletter at the beginning of this month.
Just to say a little more about belonging as a couple, I’ve realized that belonging can soften any heart. When you’re full of belonging with either your spouse or your children, your heart is very soft at that time. One thing I noticed was a man walking his dog. The dog was on a leash, but it kept looking up at his master as they walked along, making sure he was doing everything right. It was an unselfish showing of the dog’s desire to belong and please his master. That’s what we get in our family. For me, when I truly understood this need to belong, both for me to belong to you, for our kids to belong to us, and for us to belong to them, it was a game-changer.
Understanding belonging as a deep-seated need, akin to a gas tank that can go down and up, was a true game-changer. Parenting became fun for me. Instead of waiting for things to happen, I started noticing their reactions and using the belonging chart to understand what was going on. This perspective shift allowed me to see why a child might exhibit a particular behavior to get attention, whether by doing something pleasing or distracting. Either way, it filled their belonging tank because we were paying attention to them.
When we finally let go and stopped reacting to things we didn’t want, knowing the belonging tank was the key, it was a relief. It allowed me to let go and not perceive it as a personal attack. The belonging tank is a miracle for stopping bad behavior—it was like the lights going on.
Between us, when I withdraw and go into my own little world, you are the first one to get clingy and say, “We’ve got to talk.” My stomach sinks every time because I always think it’s something bad, but it’s usually just a need for communication, understanding what’s going on in each other’s lives.
It’s like the clouds changing the sky—these are the things we need to be aware of to make our life easier and more pleasant. When we belong to each other, life is simple, easy, cuddly, warm, and wonderful. We encourage you to take a look at our book and explore the belonging tank aspect because it’s truly miraculous. It’s a lease on life when you recognize that things happen because of this deep-set need. It’s such a relief to have this key.
Have a great rest of the holiday season. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, like we did, and I’m looking forward to our Christmas. God bless all of you, and thank you.
Aloha.