Many people we talk to including ourselves really want to live a happy, joy-filled life. The irony is that if you spend your life striving to live a happy, joy-filled life you may seldom find it! The reason is that happy and joy are feelings. Feelings come and go like the wind and they are reactions to people, places and things in our lives. For instance, assume you are experiencing one of those care-free, peaceful summer days when the sun is shining, and you don’t have a care in the world. You are sitting on a lawn chair with a good book ready to just relax when suddenly you see a toddler walking off a sidewalk between two parked cars and heading toward a busy street.
Where did that carefree, lazy day happiness go that you were just experiencing a few minutes before? Of course, this is an extreme example of how fleeting feelings are, but it emphasizes how we can’t depend on just feeling happy.
The secret is that we have to make decisions and choices to put ourselves in the presence of persons, places and situations where we usually experience happiness and joy. The more often we recognize those places and choose them, the more we can experience happiness and joy.
Ed- HOWEVER, nothing is that simple because we are all human, too. Some of the places I experience great joy are with my lover – my wife Betty. When we are having a severe disagreement, I don’t necessarily feel happy or joyful. However, when we reconcile and make up, I do experience times of GREAT joy.
Betty- I experience great joy when I am with family. Of course, when I see them making choices that go against the values I wished we had instilled in them, it sometimes breaks my heart, but then I see the many GREAT things they do, and a flood of joy washes over me!