When sex is sacred, it brings us closer to each other and closer to God. Two scriptures that stand out are 1st in the Gospel of John when Jesus tells us “Love one another as I have Loved you”, and 2nd in John’s first letter when he simply says that “God is Love”. With these words in our minds and hearts we approach our lovemaking with reverence and tenderness. It is a far cry from when we couldn’t even imagine having God in our bedroom.
To explain Sacred Sex, we each wrote our answer to the question “What does Sacred Sex mean to me?”
ED
For me sacred sex is when my mind, heart and words are aligned and all expressing what I am saying with my body. Most importantly for me is our prayer from Dr. Greg Botarro “Ever present God, here with me now, help me be here with you”. It instantly seems to help me feel close to Betty, too. It provides my spiritual mindset because it acknowledges that I can’t hide from God. Knowing that God is there enhances the freeing purity of heart I feel. I also relish praying with Betty and telling her before we start what I want my body to say to her especially when words cannot express the love I feel. It allows me to ask forgiveness and heal if we have had misunderstandings or arguments. This assures me that I am expressing love without lust. Lust is self-centered and makes sex more like an unfulfilling activity. It is the opposite of sacred sex which is holy communication and other-centered. We can express our deepest desires and feelings. I know we don’t always achieve this, but I love it when we do.
BETTY
What sacred sex means to me is to have our lovemaking be holy. It is holy when we are doing what Jesus modeled and told us to do – Love one another as I have loved you. “Give it all you’ve got; no holding back.” I have the ultimate gift of expressing this unconditional love by being even more than unselfish by striving to communicate mutual self-donation. Mutual self-donation is when each of us is conscious of giving to each other and receiving from each other. There is no taking or grasping. Mutual self-donation means that I am devoted to Ed and want him to fully experience my yearning for him to know that I am giving all of me to him. I feel free and pure in my heart. I experience the Bible passage, “Adam & Eve were naked yet felt no shame”. No hesitancy. It’s like giving Ed my most sincere hug that convinces him that he is loved.
In closing, Sacred Sex gives a whole new perspective on the first line of St Paul’s marriage lesson in Ephesians 5 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”!